If only
by jmm0407
Summary: The Romanovs last days...unless they survive?
1. Chapter 1

**Summary- The story of the romanovs up till their final moments. Unless they survive….**

**I did a story before called the story of the romanovs but I deleted it. I rushed into it and it was just terrible. So I will take my time and proof this story before posting. I really am sorry about the last story. This story will run more on facts and this story is rated M for later chapters. **

**Hope you enjoy and please review. It will mean a lot to me! **

**(Olgas pov)**

My most happy memory was when I meet Pavel. Oh how handsome and strong he was. It was when I was fifteen I fell in love with him. Pavel was a junior officer on the imperial yacht. We Would talk on the phone every night. He was all I could think of when I wasn't with him. Everybody knew it couldn't be but I made it harder for myself by having hope. I had all the hope in the world. A few months later he got married to a lady in waiting. That was probably my worst memory. When I found out pavel was getting married I fell into a bit of depression. I uaslly didn't get upset enough to cry but that night think I cried half the night. With help from my beloved nurse I felt better and in time I fell for another guy.

But that was then and this is now. There was just a bitter silience in the room. I looked over to alexei to check up on him. Poor Alexei always being sick. He was only thirteen and had the pain of a lifetime. He was looking out the window while doozing off. I turned to my sister tatiana who tried to keep herself form falling asleep. I don't understand how they could be sleeping when we were in harms way. Anastia was on the floor playing with joy who was particullary hipper today. I tried to break the silience buy coughing but it just made tatiana straighten up more. I wonder were they sent peire to. Maybe he would meet us or just went on a different ship. I enjoyed his company very much. He was always the one to cheer me up but now no one could. I felt this journey to Yekaterinburg rather long. Joy started to bark due to anastia teasing him with her fingers. Alexei shoot up from his sleep and gave a low moan. Tatiana held her tounge and gave me a look wich left me to handle anastia. I said her name and told her to keep the dog quiet or she will loose the privlige to play with him. Anastia just sighed and turned the other way to play with Joy. As if I wouldn't be able to see her. Some how I managed to drift off into a light sleep.

**Should I keep going! Please review, it means a lot to me!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello veiwers. I do hope you enjoyed the last chapter! This chapter is rated M so do not read unless you are 18 or over. This chapter will contain rape and maybe swears. This will be longer and more carefully edited. Thankyou for reading and hope you enjoy and please please please review. It would mean so much to me if you did. **

**This chapter is based on the maid who claimed rasputin raped maria when she was eleven years old. This is how I imagine it and not based on facts, only the thought is. **

**(Maria's pov)**

My happiest memory was when a gaurd who I cared for sneaked me cake. His name was Ivan Skorokhodov and I was in love with him. He was caring enough to sneak me cake on my 19th birthday during when my family was in captivity. We were daring enough to sneak away for a moment. We were in the middle of "fooling around" when we got caught. To superiors caught uss during a surprise inspection of the house. But him being taking away was not my worse memory unfortunately. I was eleven years old while it happened. It was late at night and anastia was sound asleep. I heard the door creek open very slowly. I coudnt see who it was so I hid under my covers. A black figure stood over me and spoke in a low spooky tone. "Don't be afraid child its only me rasputin." I sat up and took the covers off my head thinkig eveything was alright. "shhh we might wake up Anastia" I said. "Don't worry little maria we don't need to talk tonight" I was very confsed about what he said. "I want to show you Im not bad and I am good' He started to lift up my nght gown. I flinched and tried to move away. "Don't worry darling, youll enjoy this" He lifted up my night gown and took down my under wear. I started to struggle and whimper. "Little maria don't be afraid, I have to make sure your pure before we can be friends" He took of my night gown and layed me down. I started to cry as my bare body was exposed to him. He started to kiss my navel and went down from there. His beard tickled my private. I Felt his warm tounge start to lick me. I started to push him away so he pinned my arms down. I started to cry even harder and tried to whisper to Anastia hoping Rasputin woulddnt notice. But he must of cause he covered my mouth and moved his mouth up my body. He unbuclked his pants and took his thing out of his pants. I tried to scream but his hand coverd my whole mouth. As I felt it go in me and rip me apart I just felt numb. I couldn't move so I just looked over to Anastia who was still sleeping. I felt a gooey substance run down my leg. Rasputin Started to whisper thing in my ear like your so pure my darling and God will accept you. I was frightned and I knw those words would haunt me forever. As he finished I started crying again. He Handed my dress over to me and smiled. "I hope this shows you im not a bad man and I want to be your friend." I nodded my head so he would leave sooner. He kissed me on the cheek and left the room. I cried all night and faked a smile in the morning. I was never the same.

But that was then and this was now. I was sitting with Mama knitting and drinking tea. The rest of the family was coming here today. O h how I missed them so much. Ive been feeling lonely since we left them. I can not speak unless spoken too since the incident with the cake. Only if mother understood how it was like to not be able to have a say in who you love. Mother will never undestand me. There is just a silince in the room as we wait for the rest of the family to walk in. Hopefully it will be soon. I cant stand another day alone with mother. Even if Olga is still mad at me it will be bettter to have her around.

Come on guys were are the reveiws?! I would really love some, even harsh ones. Just to know your out there J


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